What have I accomplished? What have I done? If I died today, would my friends be sad? Would I be proud of who I am? Would I have done all that I wanted? I think I'm a little ashamed of who I am right now. But there is no better time to change.

I was walking alone pretty late the other night, and realized that pretty much reflected my life. I'm pretty lonely right now without a sense of direction. I've turned away from God, and I really need to find my way back. I need Him to give me guidance. I miss the days in high school where I felt so weak but I realize with Him nothing is impossible and He gave me the strength to live each day. I need to strive for that reliance on His strength. I don't want to be alone anymore. I want to be walking those streets with God by my side, giving me a purpose, guiding me through life. I can't do this alone.

So God, please enter my life again, please show me your love, your guidance, your power, your strength, your everything. I need you. Let me realize that I need you. I remember almost two years ago when I broke down and cried and realized that I should not be focusing on my own will, but on yours. I want that realization again. I remember when each night before bed, I would pray and thank you for every person you place in my life and blessing me through each day. I want that again. I want to crave you, I want to be hungry for you. I want you. I want your love. I NEED your love. Help me realize that and seek out for it actively.

This is the start of a change. And hopefully, soon for now, I can look at myself and be completely proud of myself and direction that my life is going. Only God has the strength to do that, and I pray that He does.

This is my prayer.