Quarter Life Crisis

What am I doing with my life? I have no idea. I don't know if I want to pursue a higher education after college. Maybe law school? And I realized that since I'm double majoring, doesn't look like I'll graduate in 4 years unless I take summer school or maybe just an extra quarter. Hm. But at this point, unless I have insurance after I graduate, I should probably stay in school. I have no idea.

This summer I also realize that I will be significantly poorer than my high school friends. I don't think I mind too much. There's a few of them that I don't think they could handle being poor (and when I say poor, I don't actually mean poor, just not as rich as their families are now). But it's just that when they're all together talking about how rich they plan to be in 10 years, I'm just thinking I'll be super content if I'll make more than 50,000 a year. Like honestly, I'm not saying that I'll be fine if I was poor, but I do think I can handle having less money than some of my friends. I don't think I'm quite as materialistic as some of my friends. Haha.

I really need to figure out my life. I don't think that I've been unhappy this past year. But I do not think I've been particularly happy either. I've had my fair shares of disappointment this year. And various struggles, many humbling experiences. I want to do something meaningful with my life. I want to make a difference in the world. I really don't know what's in store for me. I feel like I really need time to just reflect and explore what I want in life. And it's hard during school cuz I just get so busy. And many times I feel like I'm doing things for the wrong reasons. Other times I won't do right things for the wrong reasons. Should I? I really don't know.

I just need to have faith I suppose. Easier said than done. Hopefully, this year won't be as much of an emotional struggle for me. I just.. I don't know. Quarter life crisis. I suppose. Everything happens for a reason. There are aspects of my life that I know what I want, but I'm unsure of how to obtain them. Well, not exactly unsure, but more like it's hard for me to do and stay true.

Your 10th Visit Free!

If I had one of those stamp cards for the dentist, I would totally have a free visit by the end of the year. But alas, those freebie cards are only for boba and yogurt. To be fair though, my visits aren't restricted to only the dentist.

I've had:
2 dentist appointments
1 orthodontic appointment
1 TMJ specialist appointment
2 Oral surgeon/Jaw specialist appointments

I don't think I've even seen my friends this much...

We'll see where this leads me. BTW, the internet is a very scary tool. Some stuff that I've researched has brought unnecessary fear.

Also, the internet has lead me to many TV show addictions. I realize that are many good shows out there, but if I were to watch every single one and catch up, I would have the rest of my life laid out in front of me. I now watch House, Chuck, Psych, Burn Notice, and Eureka. I'm a bit scared to tread into more waters for I fear I will drown in the vastness of TV shows.

KAYAKING!

Started the weekend with a sleepover. A lot of fun, we lost Mike, but quickly found him in Christina's room floor when Hui and I were heading to bed. Hahaha.

Saturday morning was filled with whining from hungry people. Went to the cottage, good food. Then headed over to La Jolla Shores to go kayaking. So first it was going to be Ryan and Hui in one, Sitong and Brian, me and Christina. But as we got our kayaks and headed into the water, it was clear that it would be hard for two girls. We could barely hold on to the kayaks against the waves let alone get in. Christina started getting really annoyed and pissed, saying that Sitong and Brian need to split up and go with one of us while Sitong was completely oblivious to her anger and had already jumped into his kayak. Brian told Christina to go with Sitong while he would be with me.

Brian and I proceeded to struggle for at least 5 minutes to get into the kayak. We were too close to shore, so each time we got in, the waves would take us and we would flip. I think we flipped around 3 times, sometimes Brian hadn't even gone in yet. Haha. So basically, we were struggling and it did not look like we were going to get in anytime soon while the other boats were already out in the water. Sitong then abandoned his kayak to swim back to shore to help me and Brian on. Hahaha. We went into the deep end, and I couldn't jump in cuz we were too deep, so Brian had to hold onto the kayak while Sitong heaved me in. It took awhile for us to get in, and after we rowed our way to where everyone else was, I realized that I had lost my water proof disposable camera. Hahahaha. It fell off of the string, I guess one of the many times I flipped did it.

Anyways, it was a lot of fun. Once your actually deep in the ocean, it's a lot easier, cuz it's just currents, no big waves. But as we were going back to shore, Brian wanted to get out and walk the kayak in, while I wanted to ride the waves and let it carry us to shore. So a wave came, and we didn't get out, but it was too fast and strong, so we ended up flipping again. And this time, both me and Brian lost our sunglasses. Though his are 200, and mine were only like 75. But I had only gotten them in May. Oh well. I'm not telling my mom though, she'd get pissed.

All in all, super fun. I want to go again sometime, and of course with someone who is able to help me get into the kayak. Haha.